Let’s Kill the Cybertruck Before it Kills Us.
If you’re anything like me, you are probably quite sick of hearing about the Tesla Cybertruck, yet it is captivating to hear about. Day after day, something new comes out about this abomination on wheels. While this is mostly just an excuse to ramble on about how much I hate this vehicle, there are also genuine points of concern for urban wellbeing.
First: It's ugly. What an eyesore. It genuinely ruins my day when I see one. Spotting one on the road invokes the same feeling as finding a malignant tumor on your body.
Second: There are huge safety issues. To begin with, the cybertruck is a gigantic steel box with large blind spots. Already not good. When you add the fact that many versions have been recalled for faulty acceleration, weak or broken steering columns, faulty electrical issues, basically just being glued together and “bricking”* itself doing various activities (such as being parked), this becomes extra concerning. There are huge oversights in design as well, including the tonneau cover (when closed) covering the entirety of the rear window, a ledge/shelf where the headlights are which can be blocked by snow and ice which reduces visibility, and vital operations being only accessible through the touchscreen on the dashboard (which often has failures as well). It also rusts very, very easily and for a vehicle that costs at least $80,000, this is a huge failure (not of safety necessarily but come on…).
Third: It’s unnecessarily expensive and a weird “flex” of privilege. Most of these cybertrucks cost around $100,000 and required a waitlist and reservation to get one. Now that people (thankfully) are starting to realize how disgusting these are, have began cancelling their reservations and attempting to sell. The thing is that nobody wants to buy these things. Tesla at one point also had a US$50,000 fine instituted and a probation from purchasing any other Tesla product if someone was caught trying to sell it… And yet this thing still has this weird cult following that I simply do not understand. It can't even go offroad like it was “designed” to do. “Built for any planet”? Elon, buddy, this thing isn’t even built for a small incline. This truck literally was doomed from the start; the “shatter proof” windows were destroyed at the first unveiling… quite poetic.
Four: Can now be interpreted as a politician endorsement or dog whistle… While being political and showing interest in politics is not inherently bad, there is something to say about Musk and what he stands for as a unelected influence(my opinion). I am just saying that some of the US states with the most cybertruck reservations are the ones that voted for Donald Trump. Do with that what you will.
Five: Damage to civil infrastructure. Cybertrucks, at their lowest and most basic form, weigh more than 6,000lbs. The average Ford F-150 (while I don’t love these either) weighs around 4,000-5,000lbs. That extra HALF TONNE of weight will quickly aid in the deterioration of our roads and infrastructure. Electric vehicles are heavier than gas ones to begin with, so when you make them bigger and uglier and less capable than the average truck on the market, you are doing everyone a disservice.
I hate the cybertruck. If there are no cybertruck haters on Earth, then I am dead. I got all my information from the sources below, so educate yourself if you dare. I would also highly recommend “molesrcool” on tik tok as he has a plethora of videos further illustrating these points.
-Rant by GAPSS VP Internal Beth Bennett
*A cybertruck is considered “bricked” or functionally inoperable after a hardware AND/OR software glitch. The vehicle needs to be towed after this point as it cannot move by itself.
https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2025/02/report-cybertruck-safety-ford-pinto/
https://www.cnn.com/2024/08/29/business/cybertruck-tesla-nightcap/index.html
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2024_United_States_presidential_election
https://sites.google.com/view/tesla-reservation-tracker/geographical-distribution
https://www.theverge.com/2023/12/12/23998308/tesla-cybertuck-safety-pedestrian-crash-test-nhtsa-iihs
https://carbuzz.com/how-many-of-the-tesla-cybertrucks-problems-are-genuine-issues/
https://gizmodo.com/european-road-safety-orgs-are-terrified-of-the-cybertruck-2000512122 (photo)